A selection of work written over the last couple of years.

Men and Phones

The music was soft and relaxing, my chair was comfortable, I had the best latte in town in front of me and something to read.   I had time on my hands so was enjoying the tranquil moment.  It was a dismal morning, yet another filled with gloom and wet, when in he burst.   The walking, talking suit.   Small talk about the weather was made with the waitress and he appeared to sit at the back of the nice little cafe, but no.   He had calls to make, so he moved himself to the front and sat near me, making call after call, not in a whisper but in a voice for all to hear.  All was me, possibly one other customer,(it was quiet that morning) and the staff.   The owners of the premises were not present.   I buried my head even further in my book, but on and on it went, meetings, double bookings, blamed on his wife, you name it.   I have mellowed considerably over the last few years, which is lucky for him, because why the hell should I have to listen to his prattle.   Did I pay to go and sit in a nice(possibly the best) cafe in town just so that I could listen to him?  Methinks not.   So the big question is, why couldn't he have made these calls in his car before he entered the cafe, or why couldn't he stand outside the door and do them there.   I know not his reasons, only that he ruined my peace with his ignorance.   Imagine if everyone who had a mobile phone yapped on them in cafes throughout the land.  Maybe I should apply those tactics the next time, because I am sure this is the second time this geezer has done this while I have been there.

Once he finished his calls he went and sat up at the counter to chat to the waitress, obviously not a man who does his own time easily.    It was then I heard him drop a total clanger.   Talking about a certain place and saying that it was on the East coast.   Oh dear, if you want to impress, at least get your facts right.

Maybe next time I will take earphones with me, but then I can't enjoy the nice music this place plays.   And guess what, when I went outside he was in front of me, PARKED ON DOUBLE YELLOW LINES!!!   No regard for the traffic wardens either then???   Or maybe just very full of his own importance.   Either way, I hope he reads this and recognises himself.   But hey ho, this is not a man with a conscience.
Maybe a discreet notice on the counter saying ABSOLUTELY NO MOBILE PHONES TO BE SWITCHED ON IN HERE.   What a joy that would be.






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